I hate when my dinner plans do not mesh with my after dark plans. Since my lazy ass hasn’t gone grocery shopping yet this weekend I was stuck making hot dogs. I skipped the chili that had sounded so good at the time. You would think I should be in the clear but already I feel my tummy rumbling.

I am not a fart in public kind of girl and I don’t pass gas in front of my husband. I don’t care that it’s a normal bodily function blah blah blah. About a year ago I was faced with horrible stomach knotting gas and a husband who was in the next room and these were not the SBD variety…more like machine gun bursts that rip out of your body. There was no way in hell I was making it upstairs to the other bathroom without squeaking one out on every step and I had at most 8 seconds to make a decision. The towel was there…yup that’s right I snatched up that poor unsuspecting towel and farted into it. I’m not proud but I’d like to think I’m resourceful.

Wow this has really gone off topic. My point is I’m fucking horny and I even shaved my legs (including thighs) and my pussy and now my naughty agenda is on hold until further notice.